One thing I go deep into when I work with my clients is to understand the Shadow, all its layers, and how to effectively use to move past limiting patterns and obstacles.
A core tenet is that you can’t support anyone with their Shadows if you’re not willing to fully look at your own.
When you do the Shadow work, you go very deep into yourself, into the depths of your soul to come face to face and then become friends with your Shadow. The Shadow is the key to freedom.
It is truly a magical and alchemical experience that changes you forever!
The Shadow, first coined by Carl Jung, “are the parts of ourselves that we don’t consciously identify with.”
They are the parts of ourselves that we have either rejected or not recognized altogether because they are unacceptable or shameful or not allowed. We decided that these parts were unsavory and unwanted at a very young age.
For example, let’s say that you grew up with a father or mother who was constantly overworking and you felt really neglected and unseen as a kid….you might decide that being Ambitious is “bad” and so you stuff your ambition down deep inside of you so that you can always be present for your own kids. The problem, though, is that your ambition still exists somewhere inside of you and you end up feeling unfulfilled in your career.
Or perhaps when you were younger your Father couldn’t hold down a job. And the family was always stressed out because of it and at risk for bankruptcy. If that’s the case, you may have decided at a young age that that laziness was “bad”, and that there was no part of you that was ever going to be irresponsible. To be vigilant about this, you swept any impulses to relax and have space under the rug and became hyper-responsible. So much so that your responsible nature gets in the way of you having time for yourself, and taking pleasure in life.
In other words, your Shadow contains natural, normal and vital parts of yourself that you decided at a very young age you would NEVER be.
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- Your Shadow unexpectedly and abruptly comes out in exaggerated and dangerous ways, you can’t control it, and it hurts other people by accident. For example – Road Rage usually happens when one stuffs their Anger down and down until it finally explodes.
- Your Shadow gets turned on yourself. This comes out in nail biting, self medicating, self deprecation and any form of self-sabotage.
- You recognize that Shadow energy in others and it drives you nuts, it activates you, you judge the other person for having this energy, and you obsess over it. If you’ve ever heard the term “You spot it, you got it” – that’s the Shadow. When we spot our Dark Shadows in others, we spot sexuality, aggressiveness, anger, competition, etc. – things that are not acceptable. But sometimes we can also get triggered by the Light characteristics that we don’t own and recognize inside of ourselves, but desperately need to – courage, risk-taking, self-confidence, intelligence).
So, it is essential to be able to recognize your Shadow and work with it. Not only so that you can avoid hurting others, hurting yourself, or being triggered by others, but also because your Shadow holds incredible pieces of gold and beauty and potential that you miss out on when you push those energies into Shadow.
There is a ton of power, empowerment and creative energy in the Shadow.
Some of your truest self is found in the Shadow, and owning it allows for deeper self-acceptance, self love and peace. For example, when I help my clients own their Destructive Shadows, then instead of self-sabotage or reckless competition with others, they are able to harness that destructive energy to easily and swiftly let go of things in their businesses that don’t serve them. Or, when I help clients own their “Lazy Shadows,” then instead of having that “lazy energy” stand in their way of getting things done, they are able to harness their “lazy energy” to create businesses that give them more than enough time for leisure and pleasure.
When you do the inner work that’s needed to own your Shadow, then you get to own, accept, embrace, honor and love ALL of yourself, not just certain pretty parts, but ALL of you!
Working with your Shadow is one of the most effective ways to lovingly bring your true self out of the shadow and into the light. It allows you to change behaviors and patterns that don’t serve, and it allows you to honor and claim all of who you are to create the life you truly want to live!
To work with me, just email me or connect with me on Instagram.
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