By Guest Writer and Life Coach David Feliciano
Truth. There are many interpretations of truth. Your truth, my truth, the truth. Humanity continues to be engaged in the discovery of the truth. The bad news is I do not think I have figured it out. The good news is I think I have uncovered my relationship to the truth.
In my past, professionally and personally, people have chosen not to tell me the truth. There are many reasons they would use as to why. “I was afraid, didn’t want to upset you, didn’t know how to tell you, didn’t think you would care, didn’t want you to know”, etc. What I got from this experience was two distinct insights.
One, that I have to be responsible for my role in their perpetration. I didn’t want to be, it was very uncomfortable and I play a role in how I am experienced by other people. That is not to say that I am responsible for what the action they choose; and I have to accept that how they see me, is in some way, is for me to own.
Two, that I am not responsible for their choice. Yet how can I say this right after I have said I play a role? You come to the fork in the road and if you choose to knowingly tell me something that is not the truth, misleading, or inaccurate that is on you. I may have contributed to getting you to the “fork” and you choose which direction to go. It lives in communication for me.
Truth and Consequences
The ramifications of that are far greater to the person telling the lie than they are to the recipient. Once they have chosen to “lie” that piece of their life is inauthentic. It may start as just one lie, yet even that one lie alters your experience of your life. It may, before long, become a place where you live, surrounded and submerged in lies. They may hate what they have created and suffer in it, or even worse, they become accustomed and comfortable in their webs of deceit. They even believe them.
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What happens when you change your point of view to “how must it be for the person that lies?”
When you lie, you deny yourself being fully vulnerable, open and able to accept love, compassion and honor from the other person. You create reasons, justifications etc. It shapes your life and you do not see the huge impact your choice is having on your own experience of life.
People that are comfortable with themselves are able to easily tell the truth. They are capable of creating clear communication and confident in their ability to be with what ever shows up. They also have a commitment to honoring themselves by maintaining their integrity with those they interact with, and their own personal integrity. This keeps their mind clean. Not having to know what they said, coordinating through their life, verifying the continuity of their lies.
Practice: Spend some time with yourself and see if there are any areas you can clean up any lies you may have told others or yourself.
Where in your life you haven’t been living a fully truthful expression of yourself? Give yourself permission to be with it. Witness what feelings, emotions, or even past memories may come up. Allow them to flow. Write down any thoughts you may have. Keep breathing into that.
Are you willing to set yourself free? Are you willing to forgive yourself and others? Practice forgiveness. You may be surprised at the freedom you experience.
As always the action happens in the comments below. Share your thoughts and experiences here!