How many times have you felt yourself shrink?
How many times have you made yourself small enough to fit into some role?
How many times have you kept your mouth shut when you wanted to speak out or handed over your power to someone who didn’t have your best interests at heart?
How many times have you told yourself, “I can’t. I can’t do it. I’m not strong enough. I’m not courageous or confident enough to be all that I desire to be?”
Fear is built into our human operating system. It is a useful emotion that has gone seriously awry. Fear can make us choose what we believe will keep us safe even when the opposite is true. It can make us believe that we can’t do it, we are wrong, the cost is too high, the path ahead too difficult. Fear disguises itself with the voice of certainty, filling us with worry, doubt, and even dread. Fear is a very real emotion that can render us powerless.
Every time fear wins, you lose, love loses. Every time you choose fear, you lose sight of your highest aspirations, your highest self. You fall prey to being controlled by your history rather than rise to the future that you desire and deserve. In this online course from #1 New York Times bestselling author Debbie Ford, learn 14 key lessons to help you overcome fear by uncovering it, understanding it, and ultimately embracing it by finding its gifts.
We can control the quality of our lives if we are willing to face our fears rather than burying, suppressing or avoiding them.
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Now it is time for you to be the adult and take charge of your internal world.
You have to be the one to take back your power, even if you’re scared. When you are in fear, it’s because you believe in that darkness more than you believe in the light. You might believe that if you do enough, read enough, pray enough or chat enough, you can obliterate your fear, but I am here to tell you that it’s impossible to make the fear happy. You might think that if you listen to it long enough, it will go away. But it won’t. You must confront it. You must take back your power. You say, “Yes Debbie but how?” Well here is the antidote for your fear: LOVE IT. Don’t try to discard or rid yourself of your fear, because you probably aren’t strong enough. But what you can do is bring the light to the darkness. That light is love. When faced with your fear, you can ask yourself, “How can I love myself even when I’m in the middle of my fear? You can turn around and face your fear. You can stop terrorizing yourself further for being scared and instead find out how old that fear is. You can ask yourself, “How many years, months, weeks, days and minutes have I been terrorized by the same thing?” Count it out and write it down. And then find some sweet compassion for the kid in you that is scared to death.
The greatest way to take on your fear is to create safety for yourself.
Safety is the key to courage. And action is your way of showing yourself that you are safe and that you can take care of yourself.. For example, if you hold a secret fear that you could become a bag lady but have no financial plan, then you’re going to be continuously terrorized. Get a money mentor. Find out how much money you need to put away and then start on that path. If you’re afraid that someone is going to attack you, get trained in self-defense. If you’re afraid your business partner is going to extort you, have an agreement drawn up that protects you. If you’re fearful that your partner is going to leave you, find out what you would need to do to know that, even if they did leave, you’re a desirable and extraordinary person? If you’re scared that you’re going to pass your limiting beliefs and issues on to your kids, what transformational class would you have to attend or what coaching could you ! participate in to ensure that you’re giving them your highest? If you’re scared you’re going to get sick, what measures could you take right now to nurture your well-being? Add tai chi or yoga classes to your weekly schedule and seek out an integrative healthcare practitioner (such as an acupuncturist or body worker) to mitigate stress and keep your body in balance.
Since ultimately you are the one that can make you feel safe, what environment do you need to create around you? What support structures could you put in place? Ask yourself where in your life are you not protecting yourself – not taking care of yourself. What subtle adjustment or quantum step can you take this week to put in a measure of safety somewhere in your life where you are fearful? Whether it’s adding antioxidants to your daily regimen, putting money in savings, having an alarm system installed, getting insurance, or praying to the divine, do what it takes to ease your heart and mind. Trust. Surrender. All is well.
Make a commitment this week. Find an area where you have fear, take it on and share on the comments below!
Excerpt from the Overcoming Fear On-line Course, by Debbie Ford via Daily Om