If you are looking to get to the next level of your meditation practice, forgiveness is key. Forgiveness is freedom.
According to Wikipedia, “forgiveness is the intentional and voluntary process by which a victim undergoes a change in feelings and attitude regarding an offense, lets go of negative emotions such as vengefulness, with an increased ability to wish the offender well.”
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To help you get there, here’s a simplified variation of a very powerful forgiveness exercise extracted from MindValley Academy.
Step 1: Set The Scene
Firstly, with your eyes closed and for about two minutes or so, bring back all the anger, frustration and pain you felt when someone in your life wronged you. Feel yourself in that very moment when it happened and picture the same environment you were in when you interacted with them. (To give you an example, in one of my sessions I imagined my bullying school headmaster in the same basketball court where he had made me stand for hours in the hot sun as punishment.)
Step 2: Feel The Anger And Pain
As you see the person who “wronged” you in front of you, get emotional. Relive the anger and pain. Feel it burn. But don’t do this for more than a few minutes.
Once you bring up these emotions that these people created in you, move on to the next step…
Step 3: Forgive Into Love
See that same person in front of you, but instead, feel compassion for them. Ask yourself what did I learn from this? How did this situation make my life better?
“[God] sent you nothing but angels.” Everyone who has ever entered our lives, even those who have hurt us, are nothing more than someone to teach us an important lesson.” — Neale Donald Walsch
So think about what lessons you could derive from this situation as painful as it might be. How did these lessons make you better? Or help you grow?
Next, think about who this person is. What pain or anguish could they have have gone through in their life that made them do what they did.
There is this quote that says, “Hurt people hurt people.” It implies that those who hurt others, are doing it because at some level they were hurt too and haven’t healed.
So think about how they may have been hurt in their own childhood or in their recent years.
“The mystical truth is that forgiveness has nothing whatsoever to do with the person you are forgiving; it is a self-initiated act of transformation In which you release yourself from a level of consciousness that binds you to the illusion that you are safe and protected in a world of chaos and that your God is the only God of justice and fairness for all humanity.” – Caroline Myss
Now there’s something important to distinguish here. “Forgiveness To Love” does not mean to simply let go (in my case, to drop the charges against him with the police). You still need to protect yourself and take action if need be. Criminal acts, especially, need to be reported to authorities. But what it does mean is that the pain of what happened no longer eats at you.
Another important thing to remember is that you don’t have to ask the other person to forgive you. You just have to forgive them and forgive yourself. And that’s completely within your control.
When you are truly at peace and in touch with yourself nothing anyone says or does bothers you and no negativity can touch you.
Love yourself enough to forgive and free yourself. Practice the “F” word.
Forgiveness leads to Love as forgiveness IS Love.